i have no name

There was something wrong with me. Some said a change is needed. So I think to myself what a wonderful world. And I've always wondered what went on in that mind of yours. Always afraid to ask what happened in there. I can tell you never thought of me. But the rain still pores and life goes on even though we are no longer we. And I still read my books and speak my words. Nothing really changed because you were not my air. And so you only think about yourself. But that's ok because I only think about myself for what they say.

There's still something wrong with me and I'm starting to think that it's me. Scared of my reasoning I wish to hide forever in the eyes of the unknown. Asleep on the bed that sits in the middle of the nowhere that I seek. Turn this into something complex with big words I don't understand. I already ate all the cookies now there's nothing left for me here. I will surrender my every movement to the gray and blue night. I will let nature take it's curse so it can take me away.There I still have a little bet of everyone left in me. So the only thing that's wrong is that there is nothing wrong and I'm making it all up as I go along. Making the floor beneath my feet with each step I take helps explain why I fall so many times. Showing every portion of me to who ever will choose to be my witness. Would you be my witness? Just to know I existed and belonged to the human species at the end of the day. Very odd thing what comfort means to some.

So is there still something wrong with me? Did the final version come out a little crocked? Was I designed to easily bent? Convert myself into a pretty little princess waiting for her prince to save her from all man kind? I refuse to be anything but me so if something is wrong do not blame the maker, blame the toy.




Don't ask about the song... It was wat I was hearing when I posted this ^_^!

>_<

So I had applied for another position at work, Team Manager (TM). In other words when u call a call center and asked for a supervisor, I would have been the one answering saying "This is Angela speaking, I'm the supervisor on duty". But I didn't get it. Don't know why yet, they will let me know on Tuesday next week… in any case it just sux >_<, completely sux. Specially cause my dad might start working with me in my account. AHHH!!!!

And jaimico didn't say "oh poor Angie" or "I'm sorry" or anything and he knows I really wanted it… but we will go away this weekend.. No guiole for you my friend.. Ok so that's not true ^_^…

Corny me and silly you.

I want to say something but it doesn't come out right. It's the technical difficulties I suffer, problems connecting the brain-mouth, wires crossing. Head denies what my hands are telling, another problem, no solutions. My eyes want to stop functioning correctly. My lungs feel that breathing is overrated. Legs wake up with heavy bruises. It's not the world that's against me anymore, it's my body that refuses to pull the trigger cause it loves to torture me.

And I hope you know I'm nervous you won't love me. I know you love me now, but still I'm afraid, that one day, out of the blues, that love will disappear. It's just those little things I think you should be aware of so that when the moment comes you don't get all freaked out. Let's make a list of things that might happen ^_^:

Feel a need for marriage.
Have an itch for kids (it's a women thing, won't kick in till I'm like 40 when it's already impossible).
Want a picket fence and happy endings.
Scream for epidurals
Kick you out of the bed and steal the covers.
Talk crap about your mom (if I ever meet her)
Talk crap about your god (only when I'm mad)
Be mad at you all the time.
Get fat and that cintura that you are so fond of will disappear.
Waste all our life savings on shoes (I suggest separate bank accounts for this one).
Get mad because you want a separate bank account and suggest therapy.
Suspect you are cheating with the therapist.
Hire a detective and keep the kids for alimony.
Love you till death do us part.
Be with you forever.
Bitch, there will definitely be a lot of bitching.
Offer useless suggests when you have problems.
Hear your every word.
Witness your life.
Be with you no matter what happens for the rest of our lis.
Give you happiness.
Give you everything you ask for, even live in a house on the beach.
Watch you as you sleep.
Smile every single time we kiss.
Think of you all day and night.
Wear your shirts.
Tell you I love you every 2 seconds (ok so I already do that one ^_^)
Show I love you every time I have the chance.
Ask for things (not a phase).
Be grateful cause I have you in my life.

I'm sure I'll do things that aren't on the list or think of new things as soon as I post this. You make me corny, I make you corny. This is going to be the time of my life for the rest of my life.

Bored as fuck!

Torture me, string me, break me, bend me, hurt me, burn me, tie me. Lets do WICKED things cause it's TOTALLY NORMAL.

the quote, i was bored yesterday and in the need to write so i wrote the qoute. i like my qoute!

this is a song that makes me think of u but i haven't told u cause corny is not my thing but u make me corny :) so...

ELEMENTO- RICARDO ANDRADE Y LOS ULTIMOS ADICTOS(my fav group)

Oh, si das un chance a mi corazón
De compartir contigo de esta emoción
Y así crezcan flores de nuestro amor
Fuera por ti,
No, no cierres las puertas de mi ilusión
Por ti están abiertas sin condición
Di, por que no entras y somos dos
Fuera por ti

Que en el aire quiero entrar en ti
Y ser elemento de tu existir
Por que solo existo para ti
Que en el aire quiero entrar en ti
Ser la almohada en que quieres dormir
Ser las cosas que quieres decir

Oh, si fuese contigo seria vivir
Si busco a un ángel lo busco en ti
Tendrías mi respuesta al decir que si
Fuera por ti
Oh, por que no te dejas perder en mi
Veras mi conciencia pensando en ti
Buscando la escénica de ser feliz
Fuera por ti

Que en el aire quiero entrar en ti
Y ser elemento de tu existir
Por que solo existo para ti
Que en el aire quiero entrar en ti
Ser la almohada en que quieres dormir
Ser las cosas que quieres decir

Oh, te doy algo eterno dame la fe
Esto no es un juego, nunca lo fue
Hagamos un sueño dame el por que
Fuera por ti

what i meant to say was...

Numb.................................................................................
Because everything can not be perfect, so numb is the only way to be. I don't want to feel anything else but what I feel for you. I'm numb from everything but you. I'm numb from breathing. I'm numb from bleeding. I'm numb from hurting. I'm numb from apologizing. I'm numb from trying to believe. I'm numb from planning. I'm numb from trying to have faith. I'm numb from thinking. I'm numb from hearing personal opinions. I'm numb from hating. I'm numb from hoping. I'm numb from forgiving. I'm numb from tragedy. I'm numb from disappointing them. I'm numb from hearing his words and knowing her thoughts. I'm numb from all the sorrow and misery. I'm numb from this day light that burns my eyes. I'm numb from those voices that hunt me every night. I'm numb from their lies and control. I'm numb from making myself wounds. I'm numb from all of my surroundings.
Numb.................................................................................
I'm numb for all of my surroundings. I'm numbed for the wounds I think of making. I'm numb for their lies and control. I'm numb for the voices that hunt me at night. I'm numb for the day light that once burnt my eyes. I'm numb for sorrow and misery. I'm numb for his words and her thoughts. I'm numb for the idea of disappointing. I'm numb for tragedy. I'm numb for forgiveness. I'm numb for hope. I'm numb for hate. I'm numb for personal opinions. I'm numb for thoughts. I'm numb for faith. I'm numb for planning. I'm numb for believe. I'm numb for apologies. I'm numb for hurt. I'm numb for bleeding. I'm numb for breathing. I'm numb for everything but you. I don't want to feel anything else but what I feel for you. Numb is the only way to be because everything can not be perfect.
I love you and I need you. I'm numb for everything but you.







Ok so this is what I posted yesterday but yesterday I was mad and upset and a little bet of everything so I just wrote the 1st thing that came to my mind. Today, this, this is much better and it's complete. I take my sweet sweet time to write when I'm really aggravated cause it never comes out right the first few times. Still love addy and jaimico! Plus the fact that I have the hottest and best girlfriend on earth just makes me feel good everyday! Love u cookie monster!!!
oh and the pic.. i toke but jaimico made it look the way it looks!

NUMB!

numb.................................................................................
because everything can not be perfect, so numb is the only way to be. I don't want to feel anything else but what I feel for you. I'm numbed for everything but you. I'm numb for all of my surroundings. I'm numbed for the wounds I think of making. I'm numb for their lies and control. I'm numb for the voices that hunt me at night. I'm numb for the day light that once bothered my eyes. I'm numb for sorrow and misery. I'm numb for his words and her thoughts. I'm numb to the idea of disappointing. I'm numb to tragedy. I'm numb to forgiveness. I'm numb to hope. I'm numb to hate. I'm numb to personal opinions. I'm numb to thinking. I'm numb to faith. I'm numb to planning. I'm numb to believe. I'm numb to I'm numb for everything but you. I love you and I need you. I'm numb for everything but you.




i had a really crappy day at work but jaimico has kept me together... and addy... i love them both... i'm lucky because of u guys... "without u i'm nothing"... placebo said it best!

My mental picture

There's a mental image in my head of a girl in a cafe. She sits
in the same chair, places the same order, eats while she
stairs at the door, pays and leaves. I sleep just to dream with
her every night. To see if she finally runs away, if she flies
into freedom. But all she ever does is sit there with her coffee
and cake, always coffee and cake. Everything is black and
white. And she is soo silent, always silent and cold. My mental
image of the cafe girl is vivid and strong. I can almost breath
her pain. She is the ghost that hides all my hopes. I long to meet
her someday and tell her what she means to me, what she has
become. I need her to live, I need her to move on...

i wrote this in the coffee cup while i was drinking my coffee. on fridays i go into work late, cause it's my short day. i go to the coffee cup which is a coffee shop. i read and write and drink coffee and eat cake... this is a picture i have of me, of the person that goes into the cafe, the person i am when im alone and just there in my thoughts looking for something and i just eat my cake(i don't always order the same thing) and drink my coffee and sit there and stair at the world pass me by... at life pass me by.. and it's weird cause i'm so young but the hope, it's gone cause shit happens, and oh boy does shit happen.. so this is my reality from within trying to come out. today is friday but i won't be able to go to the coffee cup because there is going to be a protest outside. so that's why i'm posting this, to remember me...

the pic, the pic belongs to zort it's called My Muse is Gone. great pic, great artist