songs in my head 36

I want to hide from myself, but I keep finding me oh so quickly...

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In My Time Of Need-Opeth

I can't see the meaning of this life I'm leading
I try to forget you as you forgot me
This time there is nothing left for you to take,
This is goodbye

Summer is miles and miles away
And no one would ask me to stay

And I should contemplate this change
To ease the pain
And I should step out of the rain
Turn away

Close to ending it all, I am drifting through the stages
Of the rapture born within this loss
Thoughts of death inside, Tear me apart from the core of my soul

Summer is miles and miles away
And no one would ask me to stay

And I should contemplate this change
To ease the pain
And I should step out of the rain
Turn away

At times the
Bark's fading slowly
But it never sustains
Would someone watch over me
In my time of need

Summer is miles and miles away
And no one would ask me to stay

And I should contemplate this change
To ease the pain
And I should step out of the rain
Turn away

songs in my head 35

No me dejes...

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Ne Me Quitte Pas-Jacques Brel

Ne me quitte pas
Il faut oublier
Tout peut s'oublier
Qui s'enfuit deja
Oublier le temps
Des malentendus
Et le temps perdu
A savoir comment
Oublier ces heures
Qui tuaient parfois
A coups de pourquoi
Le coeur du bonheur
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois)

Moi je t'offrirai
Des perles de pluie
Venues de pays
Où il ne pleut pas
Je creuserai la terre
Jusqu'apres ma mort
Pour couvrir ton corps
D'or et de lumière
Je ferai un domaine
Où l'amour sera roi
Où l'amour sera loi
Où tu seras reine
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois)

Ne me quitte pas
Je t'inventerai
Des mots insensés
Que tu comprendras
Je te parlerai
De ces amants là
Qui ont vu deux fois
Leurs coeurs s'embraser
Je te racont'rai
L'histoire de ce roi
Mort de n'avoir pas
Pu te rencontrer
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois)

On a vu souvent
Rejaillir le feu
De l'ancien volcan
Qu'on croyait trop vieux
Il est paraît-il
Des terres brûlées
Donnant plus de blé
Qu'un meilleur avril
Et quand vient le soir
Pour qu'un ciel flamboie
Le rouge et le noir
Ne s'épousent-ils pas
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois)

Ne me quitte pas
Je ne vais plus pleurer
Je ne vais plus parler
Je me cacherai là
À te regarder
Danser et sourire
Et à t'écouter
Chanter et puis rire
Laisse-moi devenir
L'ombre de ton ombre
L'ombre de ta main
L'ombre de ton chien
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois)

songs in my head 34

Haven't cheaten and not planning to. This is just another one of those songs in my head.

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I'm No Good-Amy Winehouse

Meet you downstairs in the bar and hurt,
Your rolled up sleeves in your skull t-shirt,
You say "What did you do with him today?",
And sniffed me out like I was Tanqueray,
'Cause you're my fella my guy.
Hand me your Stella and fly,
By the time I'm out the door,
You tear men down like Roger Moore.

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would,
I told you I was trouble,
You know that I'm no good.

Upstairs in bed with my ex boy,
He's in a place but I can't get joy,
Thinking on you in the final throes,
This is when my buzzer goes,
Run out to meet you, chips and pitta,
You say, "when we're married",
'cause you're not bitter,
"There'll be none of him no more,"
I cried for you on the kitchen floor.

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would,
I told you I was trouble,
You know that I'm no good.

Sweet reunion Jamaica and Spain,
We're like how we were again,
I'm in the tub, you on the seat,
Lick your lips as I soap my feet,
Then you notice likkle carpet burn,
My stomach drops and my guts churn,
You shrug and it's the worst,
Who truly stuck the knife in first.

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would,
I told you I was trouble,
You know that I'm no good.

So the only memories I really have from the party are the ones in the pictures my baby took. Had a blast and a huge headache the next day, I definately remember that!

Jaimico and I


.

This was a pic of my baby and I but some one got in the way....



So I got in Herbs pic! Ha!



I like this picture. Jaimico took it.



La china from far



La china gone XD!



Kirk and I



Wendy and Carlos



Homegirl and his girl



I'll say drunk strangers XD!














Me at the end of the night gone in another world, on filed with lots and lots of alcohol





rest of the pics my baby decided to post are in his snapfish album SYKES PARTY 07

songs in my head 33

His eyes aren't blue but he can still break my heart in a way no one else has ever done it...

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Heart-Shaped Glasses-Marilyn Manson

She reminds me of the one in school,
when I was gutted she was dressed in white.
And I couldn’t take my eyes off her,
but that’s not what I took off that night,.
She’ll never cover up what we did with her dress.
No.
She said “kiss me it’ll heal,
but it won’t forget”.
“Kiss me it’ll heal,
but it won’t forget”.

I don’t mind you keeping me on pins and needles.
If I could stick to you,
and you could stick me too.

Don’t break,
Don’t break my heart,
and I won’t break your heart shaped glasses.
Little girl,
little girl you should close your eyes,
that blue is getting me high.
Don’t break,
Don’t break my heart,
and I won’t break your heart shaped glasses.
Little girl,
little girl you should close your eyes,
that blue is getting me high.
Making me low.
That blue is getting me high.
Making me low.


She reminds me of the one I knew that cut up the negatives of my life.
I couldn’t take my hands off her,
she wouldn’t let me be anywhere but inside.

I don’t mind you keeping me on pins and needles.
If I could stick to you,
and you could stick me too.

Don’t break,
Don’t break my heart,
and I won’t break your heart shaped glasses.
Little girl,
little girl you should close your eyes,
that blue is getting me high.
Don’t break,
Don’t break my heart,
and I won’t break your heart shaped glasses.
Little girl,
little girl you should close your eyes,
that blue is getting me high.
Making me low.


She’ll never cover up what we do with the dress.
No.
She said “kiss me it’ll heal,
but it won’t forget”.
“Kiss me it’ll heal,
but it won’t forget”.

I don’t mind you keeping me on pins and needles.
If I could stick to you,
and you could stick me too.

Don’t break,
Don’t break my heart,
and I won’t break your heart shaped glasses.
Little girl,
little girl you should close your eyes,
that blue is getting me high.
Don’t break,
Don’t break my heart,
and I won’t break your heart shaped glasses.
Little girl,
little girl you should close your eyes,
that blue is getting me high.
Making me low.

songs in my head 32

It's not where I am but it's what i like.

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Aviéntame-CafeTacuba

Abrázame y muérdeme
Llévate contigo mis heridas
Aviéntame y déjame
Mientras yo contemplo tu partida
En la espera de que vuelvas y tal vez
vuelvas por mi,
y ya te vas que me dirás,
dirás, qué poco sabes tu decir

Despídete, ya no estarás
Al menos ten conmigo esa bondad
Te extrañaré, no mentiré
me duele que no estés y tú te vas

Amárrame y muérdeme
Llévate contigo mis heridas
Murmúrame y ládrame
Grita hasta que ya no escuche nada
Sólo ve cómo me quedo aquí esperando
a que no estés
En la espera de que vuelvas y tal vez vuelvas por mi
En la espera de que vuelvas y tal vez vuelvas por mi

songs in my head 31

I'm very happy today. It's friday and I've had a terrible week but my boyfriend has been next to me all these days to give me moments of joy.

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I'm A Terrible Person-Rooney

I'm a terrible person (x3)

'Cause I've made up my mind
I'm a terrible person
'Cause I've led her on
And I'm the only one who knows
What I've done to her
Oh yeah, I'm much smarter now
I won't tell her friends before her
Oh, I'm afraid

It's gonna be a bad day come Sunday (x4)

I'm a horrible person
I read her diary
I'm not to be trusted
I told all of her secrets
To all the guys in town
They all laugh and slap me five, oh yeah
Luckily she doesn't have dirt on me
'Cause I'm the cleanest guy
Oh, I'm so afraid

It's gonna be a bad day come Sunday (x4)

Well, I don't think I'll ever be sorry
No, I'm not sorry for a thing I've done
And I don't think I'll ever wake up lonely
'Cause having her around wasn't all that special
I don't think I'll ever be sorry
No, I'm not sorry for a thing I've done
And I don't think I'll ever wake up lonely
'Cause having her around wasn't all that special

It's gonna be a bad day come Sunday (x4)

songs in my head 30

I wanna fucking tear you apart XD!

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Tear You Apart-She wants revenge

Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight
And the whisper or handshake sending a sign
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermind

Late night, in passing, mentioned it flip to her
best friend, it's no thing, maybe it slipped
but the slip turns to terror and the crush to like
when she walked in he froze up, leaves it to fright

Its cute in a way, till you cannot speak
And you leave to have a cigarette, knees get weak
An escape is just a nod and a casual wave
Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days

It's only just a crush, it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know
You pray it all away but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart

Then he walked up and told her, thinking maybe it'd passed

And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance
Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there
Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare

They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do
Cause theres always repercussions when you're dating in school
But their lips met, and reservations started to pass
Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

Either way he wanted her and this was bad
wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy
Now a little crush turned into a like
And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart

songs in my head 29

2+2 will always = 5 in me

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2+2=5-Radiohead

Are you such a dreamer
To put the world to rights?
I'll stay home for ever
Where 2 and 2,
always makes a 5.

I lay
down the tracks
sandbagging high
January has April showers
And 2 and 2 always makes a 5

It's the Devil's way now
There is no way out

You can scream and you can shout
But it's too late now

Because,
You're not there
paying attention
paying attention
paying attention
paying attention

Yeah and I needed it,
payin attention
payin attention
payin attention
payin attention

Yeah and I needed it
I needed attention
I needed attention
I needed attention
I needed attention

Mmm Yeah I love it,
payin attention
payin attention
payin attention
paying a-ttention

I try to sing along but the music's all wrong
'Cos I'm not
'Cos I'm not
I swallow my pride but ????
But I'm not
But I'm not
All hail to the thief
All hail to the thief
But I'm not
But I'm not
But I'm not
But I'm not
Don't question my authority, or put me in the box
'Cos I'm not
'Cos I'm not
Go and tell the King that the sky is falling in
But it's not
But it's not
But it's not
Maybe not
Maybe not

songs in my head 28

A life all mine is what I choose... I just want to be me.

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A Life All Mine-Gathering

Razor sharp I cut
The bull from my life
Too blunt your knife
To slay this dreamer

We might be dogs astray
No running line will hold us
So rather kick and kill me
I'll be butchered all the same

No words are spoken
But the world is broken

'Cause I want something
Something all wrong done
A life instead of mere living
Folding crumbling withering oh hell
What difference when working the way

The crown of my work
Is what I shall gain
At the end of my days

Daylight awake to a puppet world
No strings attach to this body of mine
Folding crumbling withering oh well
The punished pushed along the line
All my actions, all my moves
A life all mine to lose

The crown of my work
A life all mine to lose
A life all mine
Is what I choose
At the end of my days

songs in my head 27

i give you my everything... to bad all i have is dirt

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Hurt-Nine Inch Nails

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
I try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way.

The Ugliness in Me

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Breaking free from this stolen silence. I sacrifice my only joy to please you. I'm trying to swim in deep waters but can't stop this drowning. An empty kiss that circles my thoughts and doesn't let me breath. You mean everything to me in this the last of all hours. When the moment comes I want to be surrounded by your arms. Because the never ending pain comes from the inside devouring everything as it looks for a way out. The pins and needles in my head move at a rapid and hurtful pace. Just wishing in secret for the end of us is how i pass my days.

This is the daily life i live. This is nothing more then a sad story with the same boy and that same girl you once knew. This is a repetition of the bad time cause the good ones never made it. This is an image of what was once thought but never mattered.This is hands tied, on your knees and begging please. This is human nature at it's finest moment right before the crucifixion. This is pure and vile and straight to the core. This is the sleeping beast ready for disaster. This is pain and misery in love. This is chaos procreating. This is motion and commotion.

Now we pay for some one's sins. Tragic tale of two who never could become that desired one. I stand looking towards the edge where we fell, looking for remains. Remember how I was screaming out loud as we went down? Symphony that was composed for us and us alone. I have been known as wicked and evil but all you see is sweet. We are more then just meant to be which is why we must part ways before it all falls down on us. I want to move with your flow and slowly go towards the exit. I want to be touched under the apple tree but not necessarily by you. Why not just leave it as it is, a beautiful idea that never took place, before the ugly takes it's course.

songs in my head 26

So you mean everything to me.... But that doesn't mean anything to you sometimes... So I'll keep this as my story.

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Uno-Muse

This means nothing to me
Cos you are nothing to me
And it means nothing to me
That you blew this away

Cos you could have been number one
If you only found the time
And you could have ruled the whole world
If you'd had the chance

You could have been number one
And you could have ruled the whole world
And we could have had so much fun
But you blew it away

You're still nothing to me
And this is nothing to me
And you don't know what you've done
But I'll give you a clue

You could have been number one
If you'd only had the chance
And you could have ruled the whole world
If you'd had the time

You could have been number one
And you could have ruled the whole world
And we could have had so much fun
But you blew it away

You could have been number one
And you could have ruled the whole world
And we could have had so much fun
But you blew it away

songs in my head 25

i love this song! i love hellsing!

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Shine-Mr.Big

I never really feel quite right
I don't know why, all I know is there's something wrong
Every time I look at you, you seem so alive

Tell me how do you do it, walk me through it
I'm following every footstep

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that's burning out

I say a lot of things sometimes that don't come out right
And I act like I don't know why
I guess a reaction is all I was looking for

You looked through me, you really knew me like no one has EVER looked before

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that's burning out

I know, I know, girl you got something

SHINE (shine it on to me)
Shine down on me (I wanna feel it)
Shine on this life that's burning out

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me (just show me something)
Shine on this life that's burning out (you give me something that I never
know)

Shine (it gonna kill me if you give something away)
Shine yeaaah (I wanna know what's going in on your mind)
Shine on this life that's burning out

songs in my head 24

estamos solos pero igual

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Sácame de aquí-Enrique Bunbury

Sácame de aquí
No me dejes solo
O todo el mundo está loco
O Dios es sordo

Dicen que si continuas
a algún lugar llegarás
Debe de hacer falta
bastante caminar

No soy mala hierba,
sólo hierba en mal lugar
cabeza de calabaza
en martes de carnaval

Hubo un momento en que pudimos
decir que no, que lo sentimos
nos debimos confundir

Escribiremos nuevas reglas
esta es la primera de ellas
está prohibido prohibir

Sácame de aquí
No me dejes solo
O todo el mundo está loco
O Dios es sordo

Sácame de aquí
No me dejes solo
No entiendo qué nos pasa a todos
hemos perdido la razón

Nos hemos equivocado
teniendo toda la razón
aún podemos ser libres
dentro de una canción

Hubo un momento en que pudimos
decir que no, que lo sentimos
nos debimos confundir

Escribiremos nuevas reglas
esta es la primera de ellas
está prohibido prohibir

Sácame de aquí
No me dejes solo
O todo el mundo está loco
O Dios es sordo

Sácame de aquí
No me dejes solo
No entiendo qué nos pasa a todos
hemos perdido la razón

¡Sácame de aquí!

songs in my head 23

I'll do it on my own

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Muscle Museum-Muse

She had something to confess to,
But you don't have the time so look the other way
You will wait until it's over:
To reveal what you'd never shown her
Too little much too late

Too long tryin' to resist it
You've just gone and missed it
It's escaped your world

Can you see that I have needed
Begging for so much more than you could ever give
I don't want you to adore me
Don't want you to ignore me
When it pleases you yeah
And I'll do it on my own

I have played in every toilet but
You still want to spoil it
To prove I've made a big mistake
Too long tryin' to resist it
You've just gone and missed it
It's escaped your world

Can you see that I have needed
Begging for so much more
Than you could ever give
I don't want you to adore me
Don't want you to ignore me
When it pleases you yeah
I'll do it on my own

I'll do it on my own
And I'll do it all by myself
You will never make it

songs in my head 22

i want to cry rite now... but i'm at work and that would not look good.. damn the world for wanting to look good.

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Obstacle 1-Interpol

I wish I could eat the salt off of your lost faded lips
we can cap the old times make playing only logical harm
we can cap the old lines make playing that nothing else will change
well she can read she can read she can read she can read she's bad
she can read she can read she can read she's bad
oh she's bad

but it’s different now
that I’m poor and ageing
I’ll never see this face again
you'll go stabbing yourself in the neck

we could find new ways of living make playing only logical harm
we could top the old times play making that nothing else will change
but she can read she can read she can read she can read she's bad
she can read she can read she can read she's bad
oh she's bad

it's different now that I’m poor and ageing
I’ll never see this place again
you'll go stabbing yourself in the neck
but it's different now that I’m poor and ageing
you'll never see this place again
you'll go stabbing yourself in the neck

it's in the way that she poses
it's in the things that she puts in my hair *
her stories are boring and stuff
she’s always calling my bluff
she puts the she puts the weights into my little heart
and she gets in my room and she takes it apart
she puts the weights into my little heart
I say she puts the weight into my little heart

she passed away *

it’s in the way that she was
heaven is never enough
she puts the weights in my heart
she puts the she puts the weight into my little heart

songs in my head 21

shhhh.....

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Endlessly-Muse

This part of me you'll never know
The only thing I'll never show
Hopelessly, I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly, I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

It's plain to see it's trying to speak
Cherished dreams forever asleep
Hopelessly, I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly, I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

Hopelessly, I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly, I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
But the moment never comes

untitled

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I feel the cold all the way to my bones and no matter how much cloth i cover myself with the cold is still there. The cold comes from me and for me. The cold covers me and keeps me company. The weakness and lack of sleep make me see the demons in me. You are the demon in me...
To open my arms and fly would be too little still. To jump and free myself from life is not enough to carry on. She is everything to me and without her I am nothing. To break from her cycle and be removed from her eyes is my darkest fear. I feel impotent next to her. When she turns to me nothing else exist. Show me compassion, wisdom and creativity. Show me hope, love and happiness. She is perfection in the making. Her porcelain skin is a map of scars the years have granted her. The hair that falls down her back is grace to me. I offer her bruises as wide as her horizons, and cuts as deep as her brown eyes. I offer her sacrifice and pain, my sacrifice and my pain. I give her my heart and she plays catch with it. I give her my thoughts and she flips the channel. She keeps distance but caresses me with her gaze. Her warmth covers this broken soul and sweeps me off my feet. She brings me to this miserable existence and makes me feel. To give into her is tragedy. She is God in flesh and bones. A believe all on her own. I inhale only for her. And I'm not able to find inspiration in solitude. I'm not able to live peacefully in this silence. Sleepless without her by my side. Dreamless in this the darkest of all nights. All I do is wish she'd be near me. She belongs with me. Bleeding out my demons. Crying all my fears. I lost myself at some point of the story. And she brings me that good company misery loves so much....
But you look so blurry and fading out. I'll slave in this life for you, just love me like I love you. Give me what ever part you want, just keep me by your side. Pin me to the wall and keep me still. Hold me down and bring me up with you. Take me to where you reside, where your thoughts begin. Carry me to your eternal freedom, not even this death can keep me from you. Without you nothing is real. Without you is without life. Take me in. Make me yours. I belong to you. Just take me in, just make me yours



something i've been working on lately. i'm finaly trying to go back into my old rutine going to the coffee cup every friday for an hr or so and drinking coffee, eating cake and just having that me time i hate and love so much. i think it's pretty good work... took like a week or two to write it.

songs in my head 20

this brings me peace

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Love Lost In A Hail Of Gunfire-Bleeding Through

This was a fucking bomb
For a few seconds, this place was Armageddon
There was a firefight

You are the fucking disease
Another day, another memory
But I have fucking failed
I turned another lie into the work of a saint

So where is the cure?
Hundreds of souls
With the look of horror on their face
Now I rise from my knees
I will not live in misery
You won't take me
You won't take me
Now it's me
Now it's me

All that's left is a bitter taste of a life that was once so promising
Rather cut at the wrist than laugh about your mistakes
Sickness still fills the air
Another life that you wish you could fake
Your eyes will cut through me, but it's a risk, that I must fucking take
I must take

So where is the cure?
Hundreds of souls
With the look of horror on their face
Now I rise from my knees
I will not live in misery
You won't take me
You will not destroy me
You cannot destroy me

And I’ll fight you with every ounce of strength I have left
And I’ll seal it with a bullet and a kiss
So look at your fucking horror
Horror
I want to see your face
Show me your true face
I want to see your face
Show me your true face

My heart belongs to you, so save me
My heart belongs to you, so save me, for the sake to give it away
Still beats (Still beats)
Still beats (Still beats)
Still beats inside of me
My heart belongs to you, so save me
And my heart still beats
And my heart still beats
My heart still beats, so save me
My heart still beats

why hello

so i've been working on a few things lately but nothing done yet.. have a bunch of pics of my best girl ever but me and pics rn't good.. my hands shake and the pics come out all moved and stuff... very funny stuff.. i want to get into photography but i'm useless for those things.. i think i'll stick to writing... anyways... today is my short day and i have nothing to do so for the 1st time ever i have decided to post a bunch of pics!!!! yes i am really bored.. and i also made some pics b & w before posting.. i love b & w. hope ya likes ^_^.




me sharing a special moment with my friend mr. coffee



oh hello



i think she looks really cute here





addy "posing" for me



i migth have fired her.. but she wasn't getting paid anyways... like this one thou.



my fav from all the pics of that day ^_^

songs in my head 19

was looking for one thing.. and well.. ran across this cookie XD!

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You Don't Care About Us-Placebo

If it's a bad day, you try to suffocate.
Another memory is scarred
If it's a bad case, then you accelerate,
you're in the getaway... car.

You don't care about us... oh oh.
You don't care about us... oh oh.
You don't care about us... oh oh
You don't care about us.

If it's a bad case, you're on the rampage.
Another memory... scarred.
You're at the wrong place, you're on the back page,
you're in the getaway... car.

You don't care about us... oh oh.
You don't care about us... oh oh.
You don't care about us... oh oh
You don't care about us.

It's your age, It's my rage.
It's your age, It's my rage.

You're too complicated, we should separate it.
You're just confiscating, you're exasperating.
This degeneration, mental masturbation.
Think I'll leave it all behind, save this bleeding heart of mine.

It's a matter of trust.
It's a matter of trust.
It's a matter of trust.
It's a matter of trust.
Because..
You don't care about us...
You don't care about us...
You don't care about us...
You don't care about us.

It's your age, It's my rage.
It's your age, It's my rage.

still waiting for nothing

i wrote this in may but i've been thinking alot about it lately.... i have it in my blog with a song and a pic of addy that i love... still... but i want to take it all back.. or at least i think and feel i do but i know i don't... i wrote this when i sent one of my closest friends straight to helll... i'm submitting it again cause i have nothing else to do i guess... i have been doing alot of thinking lately. i have been giving myself excuses and making up stories in my mind... i've even been reading my horoscope... in need of believing in something... in need of being girly and hurt... and feeling... in need of feeling loved and wanted and great... but it doesn't seem to happen to me... jaimico left yesterday to new york for 3 weeks and all he sent me was a text to my cel saying "bye angie" and that was it. all i got was nothing when i gave everything and lost alot on the way there... he has asked me to wait for him but i don't know if i should... well i do know but i don't want to do wat i should do. i love him... today i was talking to a co-worker about a friend of ours. he calls his wife all these sweet names and is always telling her cute things and stuff... i think it's kinda discusting. i dunno, it's weird to have all those pet names and stuff... so anyways this guy just looked at me and told me "then u've never been in love". but the thing is that that is far from the truth. i have been... and i am rite now... i'm just lost within me so nothing can be done on the matter. and now i'm looking for answers outside... like if i'm gonna find something... and there isn't anything there... i want to keep writing but if i don't post this now i'm not gonna be able to do it later on and i wanna do it today. so i'll add... someday ^_^...


STILL
Heavy breathing… Sobby eyes… Stillness... Quietness…
You are not a friend, you can not be considered an allied.
You that already knows all the deep dark little secrets. You
that I have cried and laughed with. You that I have loved and
hated. You that I have kissed and hurt. I need to scream
because now there is no one left to listen. You are gone and
there is no scheduled return. You are no longer needed and
you have been fired from my life. You that I am indifferent to.
You that I no longer think of. You that I have no feelings for. You
that I am not writing about. You that I will not name. You that I
do not wish for. There is nothing I will do to apologize. I will not
bring you back this time. I will not cry for you anymore. I will not
waste my time on you. No more heavy breathing. Leave behind the
sobby eyes. Good bye to stillness. And so long to quietness.

HAPPY B-DAY LOVE!!!

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so u r 20 now! well we both r! and it's been 6 years (almost 7) since we meant! still remember when we used to fight our asses off... glad we got past that and now i call u bitch in a loving way... u r the best thing that has happened to me in this country and if it wasn't for u i'd probably already jumped. the only good thing that came out of el salvador is u... i love u addy u r the coffee in my milk and the chocolate in my cake! i know that "One day we'll live together And life will be better"!!!!

HAPPY B-DAY LOVE!!!! I LOVE U!!!!

songs in my head 18

I feel like dancing... so lets!

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Dosis Perfecta-Panteon Rococo

Hoy te vas, pero se que volveras
Porque lo que yo te di no lo encontraras jamás
Esas noches, esos dias, cuando tu te retorcias en mis brazos
Cuando veíamos estrellas y tú eras una de ellas
De esas que abrazan la tierra con su luz
Y hoy me llamas y me dices que empacas tu presencia
Que has hecho las maletas, que hoy dices adiós

Y despues de romper el cielo juntos,
Esa forma tan tuya de hacer el amor y estallar al llegar
No, no puedo aceptar que hoy te vayas
Y me dejes un cuarto de mil batallas
cobrarte yo no quiero, no quiero cobrarme
Sólo quiero que tú te quedes aquí, yeh yeh yeh

Hoy mi cuerpo necesita de ti y saber
Que la dosis perfecta esta en tus caderas
En tus besos, tu sonrisa, tu cabello y ese cuerpo que me erizaaaaa
Hoy mi alma sabe que estás bien
Pero tú dime, tú dime quien
Estará para aliviar mi dolor
Si ya no estas tú.

Y despues de romper el cielo juntos,
Esa forma tan tuya de hacer el amor y estallar al llegar
No, no puedo aceptar que hoy te vayas
Y me dejes un cuarto de mil batallas
cobrarte yo no quiero, no quiero cobrarme
Sólo quiero que tú te quedes aquí, yeh yeh yeh

Hoy mi cuerpo necesita de ti y saber
Que la dosis perfecta esta en tus caderas
En tus besos, tu sonrisa, tu cabello y ese cuerpo que me erizaaaaa
Hoy mi alma sabe que estás bien
Pero tú dime, tú dime quien
Estará para aliviar mi dolor
Si ya no estás tú.

Hoy mi cuerpo necesita de ti y saber
Que la dosis perfecta esta en tus caderas
En tus besos, tu sonrisa, tu cabello y ese cuerpo que me erizaaaaa
Hoy mi alma sabe que estás bien
Pero tú dime, tú dime quien
Estará para aliviar mi dolor
Si ya no estás tú.

songs in my head 17

looking for another song i came across this one... i liked the lyrics alot and placebo is great. best part is i wasn't gonna post anything today but this song just hit me...

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Drink you pretty-Placebo

Sick of drugs and dancing feet
Sick of bars where people meet
Smell of crotch and sheets not clean
Hairy men in magazines
Every city looks the same
Running from the threat of rain
Pillow talk that's just for one
Saturday get nothing done

Lie to me
It takes less time
To drink you pretty

Lie to me
It takes less time
To drink you pretty

Human seas of apathy
Nuclear catastrophe
Jumbos crash into the ground
Governments sleep safe and sound
Mornings glisten cold and bright
Organs stolen every night
Can of beans and fast boquet
Double jackpot give away

Lie to me
It takes less time
To drink you pretty

Lie to me
It takes less time
To drink you pretty

Hello pretty
Hello
Hello pretty
Hello
Hello pretty
Hello
Hello pretty

Lie to me
It takes less time
To drink you pretty

Lie to me
It takes less time
To drink you pretty

songs in my head 16

this will be the last song i post for u... u never thought i would love u this much... i never thought u would leave.

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Infinito-Enrique Bunbury

me calaste hondo
y ahora me dueles
si todo lo que nace perece, del mismo modo
un momento se va
y no vuelve a pasar

Y decían: '¡qué bonito!' era vernos pasear
queriéndonos infinito
pensaban: 'siempre será igual'
¿cómo lo permitimos, qué es lo que hicimos tan mal?
¿fue este orgullo desgraciado
que no supimos tragar?
Engáñame un poco al menos
dí que me quieres aún más
que durante todo este tiempo
lo has pasado fatal
que ninguno de esos idiotas te supieron hacer reír
que el único que te importa
es este pobre infeliz

Me calaste hondo
y ahora me dueles
si todo lo que nace perece, del mismo modo
un momento se va
y no vuelve a pasar

Y el día que yo me muera y moriré mucho antes que tú
sólo quiero que una pena
se lloré frente a mi ataúd
que esta herida en mi alma no llegó a cicatrizar
y estará desesperada
hasta que te vea llegar

Me calaste hondo
y ahora me dueles
si todo lo que nace perece, del mismo modo
un momento se va
y no vuelve a pasar
un momento se va
y no vuelve a pasar
un momento se va

songs in my head 15

so he does love me but, rite now, i wish he wouldn't

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I don't love you-My Chemical Romance

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

songs in my head 14

ok so i don't.. but i wish i did!

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Feeling Good-Muse

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds drifting on by
You know how I feel
Its a new dawn it's a new day its a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom in the trees
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn its a new day it's a new life for me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonflies all out in the sun
You know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies are all having fun
You know what I mean
Sleep in peace
When the day is done
And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Smell of the pine
You know how I feel
Yeah freedom is mine
And you know how I feel
Its a new dawn its a new day its a new life for me
Butterflieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

Ooooh, freeier than you..
Ooooh, feeling good..

You hurt so I'll sing You a song

i had already posted this put this is the final edit... after alot of tears and alot of pain i'm gonna let it go...



Hating herself for loving him is her national anthem. She wraps herself in loneliness. She breaks in sin. She cries in spirit. She sings in darkness. She breathes in water. She dies in him. A beautiful beginning for the most tragic of endings. The grave was built when she first said hello. He was kind enough to bring her pain and guilt. He was caring enough to show her sorrow and coldness.

Lia suffers in silence. And when she loves she suffers the most. Trying to find freedom in his arms she lets herself go. While her big brown eyes bring sadness to his world in which he can not deny them. Her hollow screams from within are a loud sound in his head. They are the opposites that attract and explode.

-Close your soul my sweet. No one wants to see your ending-, he whispers to her ear, -Some things should remain a mystery.-
-You were my unbroken dream- was Lia's reply.-I'm dying, please-
-You cry- he said.
-I don't have to share your happiness and you don't have to share my sorrow.-

He holds her hands and takes her to dance. So close to her he can smell Lia's thoughts. She begins to shiver in his arms. She hurts. He cries. They sink together. This is the part where they become a "we" with a passionate and poisonous kiss. Experience and thought are not their biggest accomplishments.

Lia is alone in this love. He is her inspiration and her home. He showers her with ideas that have no ending and plans that will never be fulfilled, as she just nods in approval to all his words while the tears fall down her cheeks. And she sleeps in a bed of pins and needles he so humbly built. And he plays the piano 'til she is safe in her dreams. And so she stays under his skin.

The last words Lia heard before she left were her guardian angel's -"Lia, my sweet, don't drown in life when there is so much left to break."- In her beautiful black dress she sits on the porch waiting for him to arrive. Today they wed. With her runny makeup, Lia gets in the carriage to start the rest of her life. Everything stops at the moment of the "I do"s but this is how it's meant to be. A man must find a woman, and she and he are to be wed in holy matrimony whether she wants to or not. Lia loses the glow in her eyes as they get back, now husband and wife. And what she expected happens, as the roses fade along with all his ideas and plans, the color of happiness mixes with the color of blood. All of Lia's dreams, stories and lust vanish for good. Forever is the promise they have made, forever dead in heart and soul.

Now she has conversations with the night because the day light just won't come. All she asks for is a moment of rest from their torment. To be in his arms and dream. Thinking that mothering would make her a better wife, and since the little romance they had died in the altar, he proposed to have a child, a specimen of their own. She looked at him, -I will never again find a way to make you happy-. He just turned and walked away. She loved him, she needed him more than anything but he killed her with the joys and eternal bliss of marriage. She did everything he wanted to keep him by her side. But Lia was no longer going to be a victim of his needs.

And the truth will set you free, Lia's truth smothered them to death. She lets his weakness be her shelter and she shows his dreams the ugly reality. Lia destroys his hopes and makes his guilt cry in shame. She is the disease that makes his pain gain strength. She is the horror behind his eyes. If he gives her the chance Lia will become the death of him. It hurts to know that her skin is his sin and her thoughts are the nightmares he speaks of. But Lia will kill the child in him and massacre his happiness without a second thought.

Naturally he tries to find a way out. Like in every modern day marriage he looks for redemption. But it was his choice that brought them together. She is a beautiful sadness he had to obtain. Now he tries to throw her back with the dogs to the world of silence. "There is so much left to break", he had so much left to give so she took and broke. "Lia my sweet you have destroyed him and now he has nothing. You have done well my child."-Her guardian angel, her demon, her true self was back and ready to kill the man who took her apart and turned her into a weak human being. From the ashes the Phoenix arises, from the dust she arises. Love is a poison but she has finally found the cure.