No longer able

For you I would hold my breath. For
you I would give my life. But today is
not the case. I play martyr, I play
victim, I play dead. You played
friendship, you played time, and you
played me. We met, we laughed, we
loved and now we part. I guess we
won’t grow old together and life won’t
be better. I guess I can say good bye to
the idea of you, the only thing you ever
really gave me. Now we cross each
other as strangers, someone I never met
and will never know. Now I don’t know
anymore. The surest thing was never
sure. What felt right was always wrong.
But I guess it’s all over now. I guess I
can’t care about this anymore. I guess
it’s time to move on….

When your eyes open so wide I know
you are falling away from me but in
those moments the thought of not
having you makes me want you more...

She scrapes and scrapes looking to
forget him. Hurts the most delicate skin
to relieve any pain from within. I found
it odd how she’s not strong enough. I
studied her from far when she first
stared to fall to the deep; and now she
just keeps pushing herself in. I saw her
open that last wound in the satin but
didn’t say a word. She isn’t the sweetest
of creatures and her hair’s a mess from
morning to dawn. She speaks a foreign
language in any and all countries.
There’s just something about her that
isn’t complete. And it’s not that he’s
gone and the day light with him. It’s not
that she’s lost in the storm and all wet
now. She’s just not together. She’s just
not right. I saw her this morning looking
at her reflection in the mirror and
wondering who it was. And when I saw
her, I saw me.

Untitled.

This is dedicated to Princess-of-Shadows for all the inspiring work she does and shares with the world.



If only my heart was mine, then it
wouldn't need to be so close to yours.
After all, there's still no reason not to
love you…

Breaking in two, the piece he kept and
the one I knew. Looking at the mirror
for the remains of my happiness.
Sometimes I can’t help but to focus on
the pain that comes from hearing him
speak. And seeing his shadow is the
death of me. And there are moments
when I don't remember at what point it
became easier to fly then to love him
but I know now that falling after the
flight hurt less. Bringing all my
thoughts together to notice that all I
think about is him. What do I say to the
people in my head waiting to shoot my
heart and call this melancholic
depression a day? It’s been weeks and
going on months now. As I see my life
plan being flushed down the toilet I
remember his name, his voice and his
words. This wasn’t what I wanted; he
was supposed to be the end of the
beginning not a rock in the road.
The time comes when I don’t want to
feel so I find new ways to forget. Now
days my body blends with the wind to
caress me in perfect communion.
Movements and music have a new
meaning to it. I taste things differently
and I even try to love without emotion.
A par of hands in my hair and a song
playing on the radio. When everything
is ripped apart there’s no other way then
to go back to zero. I go back to the me
before him and he goes back to who
knows what.

If only my heart was mine, then it
wouldn’t be yours anymore…

Songs in my head 42

Cuando termina el dia, aun pensando en todo lo negativo, en las cosas malas e inperdonables que hiciste, quiero despertar a tu lado.

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Silvio Rodriguez - Me Va La Vida En Ello

Cierto que huí de los fastos y los oropeles
y que jamás puse en venta ninguna quimera
siempre evité ser un súbdito de los laureles
porque vivir era un vértigo y no una carrera,
pero quiero que me digas amor,
que no todo fue naufragar
por haber creído que amar
era el verbo más bello,
dímelo, me va la vida en ello.
Quiero que me digas amor, que no todo fue naufragar
por haber creído que amar era el verbo más bello,
dímelo, me va la vida en ello.

Cierto que no prescindí de ningún laberinto
que amenazara con un callejón sin salida
ante otro más de lo mismo, creyendo distinto,
porque vivir era búsqueda y no una guarida
pero quiero que me digas amor,
que no todo fue naufragar
por haber creído que amar
era el verbo más bello,
dímelo, me va la vida en ello.
Quiero que me digas amor, que no todo fue naufragar
por haber creído que amar era el verbo más bello,
dímelo, me va la vida en ello.

Cierto que cuando aprendí que la vida iba en serio
quise quemarla deprisa jugando con fuego
y me abrasé defendiendo mi propio criterio
porque vivir era más que unas reglas en juego
pero quiero que me digas amor,
que no todo fue naufragar
por haber creído que amar
era el verbo más bello,
dímelo, me va la vida en ello.

Pero quiero que me digas amor, [quiero que me digas amor]
que no todo fue naufragar [que no todo fue naufragar por haberte]
por haber creído que amar [por haberte creido a ti]
era el verbo más bello, dímelo, me va la vida en ello. [dimelo]
Quiero que me digas amor, [que me digas amor]
que no todo fue naufragar [que no todo fue naufragar por amor]
por haber creído que amar [por haber creido que amar]
era el verbo más bello, dímelo, me va la vida en ello. [dimelo]

A lo que hemos llegado

"Qué diría Dios si amas sin la Iglesia y sin la ley"

Dejemos atras las ideas de epocas coloniales. La mujer casada porque sino no vive. El hombre perfecto que le pega a su amada. El hijo que calla. La hija que solo sirve para servir. Estas ideas del pasado que solo estan porque las permitimos. No hay progreso y preguntamos porque. Si tu no lo sabes, entonces quien sabe?

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Silvio Rodriguez - Familia La Propiedad Privada Y El Amor

El derrumbe de un sueño
algo hallado pasando
resultabas ser tú.
Una esponja sin dueño
un silbido buscando
resultaba ser yo.

Cuando se hallan dos balas
sobre un campo de guerra
algo debe ocurrir
que prediga el amor
de cabeza hacia el suelo
una nube vendrá
o estampidas de tiempo
los ojos tendrán.

Fue preciso algo siempre
y no fue porque tú
tenías lazos blancos en la piel
tú, tenías precio puesto desde ayer
tú, valías cuatro cuños de la ley
tú sentada sobre el miedo (x3)
de correr.

Una buena muchacha de casa decente no puede salir
que diría la gente el domingo en la misa
si saben de tí
que dirían los amigos
los viejos vecinos
que vienen aquí
Qué dirían las ventanas,
tu madre y su hermana
y todos los siglos de colonialismo español
que no en balde te han hecho cobarde
qué diría Dios
si amas sin la Iglesia
y sin la ley
Dios, a quien ya te entregaste en comunión
Dios, que hace eternas las almas de los niños
Que destrozarán las bombas y el napalm.

El derrumbe de un sueño
algo hallado pasando
resultabas ser tú
Una esponja sin dueño un silbido buscando
resultabas ser yo.

Busca amor con anillos
y papeles firmados
y cuando dejes de amar
ten presente los niños
no dejes tu esposo
ni una buena casa
y si no se resisten
serruchen los bienes
que tienes derecho también
porque
tú, tenías lazos blancos en la piel
tú, tenías precio puesto desde ayer
tú, valías cuatro cuños de la ley
tú sentada sobre el miedo (x3)
de correr.

Songs in my head 41

Los besos que perdere porque no sabes decir:"te necesito".

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Joaquin Sabina - Donde Habita El Olvido

Cuando se despertó,
no recordaba nada
de la noche anterior,
"demasiadas cervezas",
dijo, al ver mi cabeza,
al lado de la suya, en la almohada...
y la besé otra vez,
pero ya no era ayer,
sino mañana.
Y un insolente sol,
como un ladrón, entró
por la ventana.
El día que llegó
tenía ojeras malvas
y barro en el tacón,
desnudos, pero extraños,
nos vio, roto el engaño
de la noche, la cruda luz del alba.
Era la hora de huir
y se fue, sin decir:
"llámame un día".
Desde el balcón, la vi
perderse, en el trajín
de la Gran Vía.
Y la vida siguió,
como siguen las cosas que no
tienen mucho sentido,
una vez me contó,
un amigo común, que la vio
donde habita el olvido.
La pupila archivó
un semáforo rojo,
una mochila, un peugeot
y aquellos ojos
miopes
y la sangre al galope
por mis venas
y una nube de arena
dentro del corazón
y esta racha de amor
sin apetito.
Los besos que perdí,
por no saber decir:
"te necesito".
Y la vida siguió,
como siguen las cosas que no
tienen mucho sentido,
una vez me contó,
un amigo común, que la vio
donde habita el olvido.

Songs in my head 40

I missed you when we were together, I miss you now that we are apart.

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Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Modern Romance

Don't hold on
Go get strong
Well, don't you know
That there is no
Modern romance

Time
Time is gone
It stops, stops who it wants
Well, I was wrong
It never lasts
And there is no
Well, this is no
Modern romance

And time
Time is gone
It never lasts
Stops who it wants
Well, I was wrong
It never lasts
This is no
There is no
Modern romance
There is no modern romance
This is no...modern romance
there is no, there is no....

Innecesario Repetirlo

Me parece correcto quererte así, con
dolor y un poco de amargura. Sentir tu
cuerpo junto al mió y estar ahí por
siempre. Tenerte de lejitos y acercarte
poco a poco. Ver que tus ojos se
encuentren con los míos mientras me
imagino el sabor de tu sudor a media
noche. Que se te corte la respiración
justo antes que nuestras bocas
entreabiertas se conecten. Mezclar el
pasado de los dos para idear el presente
perfecto. La formula adecuada para una
buena velada. Extrañarte cuando no
estés y un poco menos cuando te
encuentres a mi lado. Que tus manos me
rocen el cuerpo entero con esa
delicadeza que solo tú me has enseñado.
El tiempo ha transcurrido pero tú y yo
seguimos tal para cual. No saber que
decir y como lo vas a entender me
mantiene a mis pies. Y tus besos sabor a
café se me hicieron una droga necesaria.
Estamos en las misma condiciones de
ayer, ahora y lo que se asemeja a un
siempre. Y tu ya sabes que te quiero
pero es que a mi me encanta hacértelo
saber. Hacer de estos momentos junto a
ti una experiencia inolvidable porque te
pareces tanto a ti en el día que te conocí.
Solo me queda seguir abriendo ese paso
a ver si tu camino alguna ves se termina
de cruzar con el mió. Espero estas
palabras no sepan amargas en tu boca
pero los dos sabemos que esto, esto esta
completamente incompleto. Porque por
ti daría hasta los ojos, todavía me
recuerdo haberlo prometido.

Avatar

If this doesn't work. I'm removing this thing ~_~

Taken

This is the series I've been working on for the last two or three weeks. Never did anything together before.

1-Painting Pretty Portraits

2-Hanging Fairy Tales

3-Final Curtain

Final Curtain

Today was an honest mistake. Today
was not in the plans of the day. Today
was not meant to come. Today I lost my
cool and you went along with it. Today I
saw the light and it hit me in the head.
Today I gave up. Today I took misery by
the arm and made it company. Today I
let you go far far away. Today I did what
I said I didn’t know how to do. Today I
hold my heart in my hands. Today the
sky fell to the ground. Today I finish
painting my pretty portrait and hanging
my fairy tales. Today I lock the door and
throw away the thought of you. Today I
become someone new. Today I break in
two, the piece you kept and the one I
knew. Today is the end of many happy
days. Today I separate myself from
fantasy. Today I pack my bags and
move. Today is a week ago. Today
everything stops and turns silent. Today
is what it is. Today is the day everything
turned into nothing. Today is a day I’ll
remember. Today is today. Today is
everyday. Today is the fall of it all.
Today I let go. Today is today.

songs in my head 39

I had to but right now I wish I never left



Beautiful One-Agua De Annique

Beautiful One
Your hair shines in the sun
I wish I'd never left

The wind intwines our hair
Our words get swept through the air
I wish I never left

Your face shines in my eyes
Our last look before our goodbye
I wish I never left

Beuatiful One
You shine like the sun
I wish I never left
Before I have said
You are the one
You are the one

Your sun will come and go
But its beauty will keep its glow
I wish your rays would shine over me
Keep filling me with your beauty
I wish I never left
I wish I never left

Hanging Fairy Tales

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Living these moments in a dream of you
sitting next to me can’t last forever when
beneath this jaded illusion is our reality.
I love you to the core and back but can’t
fight for this any longer. How do we say
that what was there is still there but isn’t
enough to go on? Where can I stop time
and stay in our golden days? And every
kiss still sucks me in and leaves me
breathless. Every touch turns my
stomach into nods. But the thought of
you makes me bittersweet. I became us
so much that I left me in the gutter for
dead. So attached to you that I no longer
had a name. My needs defined by your
wants.

Now the “Do I just give up and throw it
all away” circles in my head. The
“Nothing last forever” hunts my daily
existence. The thoughts won’t transform
into words followed by actions. And as
we hang by a thread you dangle the
scissors on the rope. What to do when
all I ever had was you and that doesn’t
exit anymore? “Pick up your luggage
and leave while you still can, that’s what
I would do if I were you.”
Head=Arms=Legs=Move.

Painting Pretty Portraits

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Buy me a pretty portrait of what we
should look like, every body else has. I
revive heading crappy music to
remember other times and other faces. It
wasn’t the person, it was the sex. And
that one wasn’t important but he sure as
hell made me feel that way. I didn’t love
him, just loved being loved. I would give
anything to go back to less meaningful
days. Nothing fills me better then
nothing. Empty from the core makes it
easy to survive. But now if you hurt I
hurt and if you break I break. We
are together for better or for worse. But I
can still manage to hate you after all that
love. I can still need to hurt you when
the day ends. Healthy breaking bones
after supper. Kiss you with my eyes
open and see myself kissing you. Tear
myself apart from us enough to look at
the bigger picture. Then there’s some
talk about the future, shallow words of
marriage, kids and a picket fence. I-love-
you? You-love-me? Things never seem
to go better and then the wall hits you
right in the face. I don’t love you. You
don’t love me. Those movie moments
don’t happen. The sky won’t turn blue
and we won’t go off into the night on a
horse. “Problem is decisions have
already been made and you are on a 1st
class ticket to hell. Sorry but keep your
hands and head in the window at all
times.” I think when you hear these
things its time to leave the building, but
how to get out of this life? I’m stuck to
you and there is no way out of this one. I
say enjoy the ride while it last, even if
eternity kills it.

songs in my head 38

Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?

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Teddy Picker-Arctic Monkeys

Despair to the point till they provoke
The punchline before they have told the joke
The sheer desperation to be scene/seen
Staring at the television screen

Despair to the point where they provoke
You to tell the fucking punchline before you have told the joke
Sorry sunshine it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the top 100 list

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it

She saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and the magazine
D'you reckon that they do it for a joke?
D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath?
That says "we are defenders
Of any poseur or professional pretender around"

When did your list replace the twist and turn?
Ah the fist, replaced the kissed-on concern
And if you're bothered, I don't want your prayers
Save it for the morning after

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it

Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker

Asuming that all things are equal,
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?

Songs in my head 37

I've fallen inlove...

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It's Oh So Quiet-Bjork

Shhhh Shhhh
It's, oh, so quiet
Shhhh Shhhh
It's, oh, so still
Shhhh Shhhh
You're all alone
Shhh Shhh
And so peaceful until...

You fall in love
Zing boom
The sky up above
Zing boom
Is caving in
Wow bam
You've never been so nuts about a guy
You wanna laugh you wanna cry
You cross your heart and hope to die
'Til it's over and then...

Shhhh Shhhh
It's nice and quiet
Shhhh Shhhh
But soon again
Shhhh Shhhh
Starts another big riot

You blow a fuse
Zing boom
The devil cuts loose
Zing boom
So what's the use
Wow bam
Of falling in love?

It's, oh, so quiet
It's, oh, so still
You're all alone
And so peaceful until...

You ring the bell
Bim bam
You shout and you yell
Hi ho ho
You broke the spell
Gee, this is swell you almost have a fit
This guy is "gorge" and I got hit
There's no mistake this is it

'Til it's over and then...

It's nice and quiet
Shhhh Shhhh
But soon again
Shhhh Shhhh
Starts another big riot

You blow a fuse
Zing boom
The devil cuts loose
Zing boom
So What's the use
Wow bam
Of falling in love?

The sky caves in
The devil cuts loose
You blow blow blow blow blow your fuse
Aaaaah!
When you fall in love...
Ssshhhhhh...